My Praying Friend

Jesus in His Most Distressing Disguise

 "Whenever I meet someone in need, it's really Jesus in his most distressing disguise.” -- Mother Teresa

As many of you know, I often visit the Charlotte Douglas Airport Overlook -- a parking lot/picnic area beside the airport's busiest runway. I find it to be a wonderful place to relax, pray, write, and enjoy the magic of watching planes takeoff and land. I also feel a great connection to God, to the Queen City, and to the rest of the country as I pray, welcome and bless planes as they arrive and take off to parts unknown. I'm at the Airport even now as I write this and I just had one of those God experiences that reminds me that Jesus is with us always.

Shortly after arriving this evening it began to rain -- a steady light rain that blurred the view through my car's windshield -- but not enough that I couldn't see the dozen or so jets lined up ready to take off.  The humid air in my car was becoming stale and stuffy, so I opened my windows despite the rain.  That's when I heard it. A woman singing.   Or was it a chant?  Yes, that's what it was --  a chant that sounded like some sort of  Native American prayer.   I could not hear any words, just a woman's voice singing a simple tune with rhythmic note changes that sometimes got drowned out by the roar of planes taking off.  I peered through the darkness towards the sound of the voice and could see the silhouette of a woman with outstretched arms toward the heavens. At first she seemed ghost-like and surreal -- however, with the occasional shining of landing lights on her from maneuvering airplanes, it was clear that she was indeed real, and very human, and in pain.  Despite her outstretched arms, she was slightly hunched over and while her body subtly moved in rhythm to her chant, both her chant and her delicate dance would break into shaking sobs.  Sometimes her emotion would overwhelm her and she would sink into a park bench behind her -- but she would quickly get up and resume her song. She moved me.

Before I could think, or react, or process, I found myself out of my car and standing behind the bench,  off to the side, close enough that I could reach and touch her.  I didn't dare though, as I did not want to intrude nor scare her.  I barely noticed that I was standing in the rain, or that I had walked through a mud puddle. There was only a small moment that I did not know why I was there or what was I to do,  but that uncertainty vanished as I remembered Mother Teresa's words of Jesus in a distressing disguise. I raised my arms to my sides just as I have done so many times before during liturgy and began to pray.  I found myself praying in the same rhythm of this women's voice -- praying for strength and healing, praising God. Praying that Jesus would give her respite from her pain.  I prayed for my Mom who is still suffering from illness. I prayed for the safety of travelers and for those who are unsheltered and hungry, huddled in small places trying to stay dry.  I prayed for those left behind while loved ones moved away from home.  I prayed for the Catawba Indian Nation who's reservation is not far away and perhaps where this woman is from.  Over time the prayer turned into a meditation of just being.  Of being with Jesus.  And of being with this hurting soul.  After unmeasured time, the woman's chants and sobs faded. Before I noticed that she had stopped, she turned and squeezed my arm, in a tearful voice she said some words I could not understand and then, "Thank you." Before I could acknowledge her, she was already in her car and she drove away.

And I thanked Jesus for his presence and distressing disguise.

How to Allow God to Comfort Us

It has been a stressful few months for me. Secular work has been all too consuming and the tough economic times have taken it's toll on me...just as it has with most of us. When I'm feeling this stressed, it is very difficult for me to find peace in prayer and allowing God to comfort me. However, it seems that my friend Cait has found the perfect image of God comforting us. Cait and her husband Joe always find a way to keep peace in their lives. Below Cait shares an experience -- an image of God in an email that I think will help me to turn to God especially when faced with life's stressors.

It's been a challenging week and a half for us here since returning from Florida. First was worst, of course, with news of Joe's sister's death. The personal stress there is obviously the most serious. We were already dealing with corroded pipes in our kitchen, so we thought that was our biggest problem to have repaired so we could once again use our kitchen sink. The sink soon became the least of our worries. Our furnace broke down on the coldest day yet. Then this week our well pump died suddenly. It's feeling like country bumkins...

Joe bought gallons of water from the grocery store for us (which riles me because our well water is better than any water I've ever had) so we have drinking and cooking water. I was in the kitchen this afternoon boiling snow in pots on the stove (to use for the pets to drink, for the toilets, etc. until the well pump is installed) when I had some unplanned prayer time thrust upon me. I had all the kitchen doors blocked to keep our new puppy, Bonita, in the kitchen with her toys. Of course Puca and Kelsi, our Shepherd, had to be there with us... The three of them were playing with squeaky toys, little puppy size tennis balls, and big beef bones. Suddenly I heard the puppy scream as Kelsi stepped on her tiny paw. No damage, no real injury...just the shock of a huge paw on a tiny paw. I reached down and picked up Bonnie, and her little body, shaking, immediately burrowed into my arms. I held her snug, while Puca, who has been making sure she is still #1, jumped to see what was up. She has been getting much more affectionate with Bonnie so I picked her up too.

Sitting there, with the two of them in my arms, I watched Puca calm down the puppy, licking and nuzzling her. Very quickly the both of them were totally relaxed and sleeping soundly in my arms, oblivious to my plans for the afternoon. So there I sat, watching them...thinking. Is this how God looks at us when we sleep, happy to see us finally relaxed and worry free? I thought how difficult it is for me so often to allow God to comfort me, to quiet my nerves when I'm frightened like Bonnie, or insecure like Puca. These little creatures just absorb affection like sponges, and allow themselves to be calmed by it, by my imperfect love. I sat there for one hour watching them breath calmly, little eyes closed, and I prayed. God let me learn from them...to trust, to rest in Your arms secure in Your perfect Love which casts out all fears regardless of what is happening around me or to me. Nothing can seperate me from Your Love. Don't let me forget. Thank You for this reminder.

This has been a very difficult week for Joe and me, and I really needed that time this afternoon. I have no doubt God gave it to me, along with the lesson in trust and love, in the manner I'd best recognized it--through these beautiful dogs.

Cáit

Celebrating Love on Valentines Day

As a close-to-50-year-old single man on Valentine's Day, it's hard not to be cynical during the holiday. We are constantly bombarded in the media with messages of how we are supposed to celebrate the day and what we're supposed to buy for our partners on this alleged most important day for lovers: electronics, chocolate, new car, $1,300 dollar Pandora necklace, insurance (really? yes really), flowers, etc. -- you get the idea. It's no wonder that we falsely believe that the holiday was created by a greeting card company. And it is also no wonder why it can be difficult for those who are alone to find reason to celebrate.

With so much focus of the holiday on romance, it leaves us single folk out to pasture while the rest of the coupled world celebrates their bliss. And don't get me wrong, I love Valentine's Day. I support any day set aside to celebrate our love for one another. However, sometimes it's easy to feel left out when you are not partnered, or even worse, when you are grieving a loss of someone you love.

However, I find solace when I meditate on the legend of the holiday. It's not only about love, but staying true to your faith. Valentines day was not invented by Hallmark as many believe. There really was a St. Valentine who lived in the third century. As a matter of fact, there may have been as many as three Christian martyrs named Valentine who are honored on Valentines Day. Valentine of Rome was a priest who lived during a time when the Church was persecuted by Emperor Claudius II. Valentine of Terni was a second century Bishop (and perhaps also a physician) who was martyred by Emperor Aurelian. And there was a third Valentine who was martyred in Africa. As with many of the early saints, the details of their life stories are unknown and the stories have been blended into mostly a single legend of St. Valentine of Rome.

As the legend story of St. Valentine is told, Emperor Claudius II would not allow young couples to marry as he believed that unmarried men made better soldiers. However, the priest Valentine continued to marry couples in secret. Claudius had Valentine arrested and tortured. The Emperor tried to get Valentine to disavow his Christianity and convert to Paganism (this part of the story is likely true). It is said that while in prison, Valentine healed the daughter of one of his jailers, a blind girl who regained her sight. Valentine stayed true to his faith and was later martyred.

Could you imagine loving God so much that you are willing to give up everything -- including your own life to remain loyal to God's love and your faith? I believe THAT is the love to celebrate on Valentine's day. God's love for us is consistent and true and we can only hope to return that love by loving each other.

If you are feeling alone or unloved, check out this scripture:

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies (Psalm 36:5).

How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 36:7).

Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love (Psalm 48:9).

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever (Psalm 52:8).

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness (Psalm 86:15).

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever (Psalm 136:26).

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness" (Jeremiah 31:3).

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17).

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends John 15:13).

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love (John 15:9).

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:35-39).

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:4-5).

Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:2).

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit (Titus 3:4-5).

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 John 4:9-10).

Holding On To Possessions With Kung Fu Grip

Jesus said to his disciples: “You have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I say to you, offer no resistance to one who is evil. When someone strikes you on your right cheek, turn the other one to him as well. If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic, hand him your cloak as well. Should anyone press you into service for one mile, go with him for two miles. Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.” Matthew 5:38-42

This is pretty self explanatory. If someone asks for a dollar....give them two. Or do we think Jesus is just kidding? Why do we think it's okay to refuse aid to others? Why do we justify our withholding by categorizing people into two categories: the deserving and undeserving? Jesus doesn't qualify about giving to those who ask. He just says, "Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow." Plain and simple.

Yet I know...my first reaction is, "NO! It's mine. I earned it. I won't have enough for myself!" I'm a hypocrite. We need to undo those messages and loosen our "Kung Fu grip." (Yes...I had a GI Joe when I was young).

Peace.

When Christianity is Lost On Christians

I am so tired. Tired of Christians who seem to have lost the meaning of what it is to be Christian. I know -- I'm opening up a can of worms here (who am I to make such judgments as to who is and who isn't Christian?), but it's getting very old to watch folks who call themselves Christians acting in a way that is so un-Christ like, AND doing it in the name of Jesus. It is simply disheartening. I've been so dismayed by others who claim to love Jesus yet have forgotten how forgiving and loving Jesus is with all of us, and that Christ calls us to behave like Him. They seem not to know how to forgive or to tolerate others. They may call themselves sinners seeking forgiveness, yet forget that their brothers and sisters are also sinners deserving forgiveness. I'm sure many of my Christian friends -- conservative and progressive alike -- have experienced this frustration.

As it happens with many of us in the Social Networking world, my list of 'friends' on Facebook has become unwieldy. I have 'run into' many friends and acquaintances from my past whom I haven't seen in 20, 30 and 40 years and I've added them to my friends list. I often forget that these friends are diverse in their faith, politics and opinion. It's funny how I expect them to be exactly like me and are surprised when they are not. Recently, one my friends from high school posted a diatribe on liberal/progressive politics that was frankly offensive because it was a mean-spirited attack based on stereotypes. Because he was my 'friend,' it posted on my Facebook page for my other friends and family to see. I responded to the post making clear that I was offended -- I did not rebut the points listed in the post, simply that I felt that it was wrong and that I was frustrated that it appeared on my Facebook wall.

In response - I was attacked. Attacked by two former school mates who are born-again Christians. These men profess their love of Jesus on an regular basis, yet acted in a way less than loving. They accused me of being a socialist -- which wouldn't be so bad if they really knew what socialism was, of being a pedophile -- referring to my profile picture of me wearing a clerical shirt, and they attacked my religion. They did not ask my opinion, nor did I offer it. They attacked me based on stereotypes without knowing my views. They do not know my political affiliation nor my values, yet they spoke as if we had long philosophical discussion on politics, religion, theology and morality. To say the least -- we never had such discussions. I still bristle thinking about the nonsense that they posted...mostly personal, baseless attacks.

What to do? I wanted to respond in anger! I wanted to attack their Christianity and their ignorance of the Gospels. I wanted to engage in a long discussion on the Beatitudes, the hypocrisy of many Christian leaders in regard to government, empire, and lack of charity that these men seem to embrace -- as indicated in the post that was originally made. It took much prayer and discussion with others to NOT respond in a way that would just be a vent of my anger rather than anything that would be helpful. I still felt the need to respond, so I wrote one of those letters that we often feel the need to write, knowing full well that it would never be sent. It was addressed to one of the posters, "Bob" who started by attacking the fact that Catholic priests use the title 'Father' and misusing the Bible to support his claim that one should only call God 'Father.' He did not know the specific New Testament reference but only: "...doesn't it say that somewhere in the Bible?"

I'll end my diatribe by sharing a bit of the letter:

Bob...that same verse in Matthew (Matthew 23:9-11) states that you should not call anyone teacher either. Being that you've taken the verse out of context and used a literal interpretation, let me know when you make your children stop calling you "daddy" and also scold them for referring to their teachers as "teacher". And you may also want to stop reading any scripture written by Paul (Saul of Tarsis) as he often referred to himself as spiritual father of the Corinthians. After all , there is no way that YOU are a hypocrite -- which is exactly what that scripture really addresses as Jesus was referring to the hypocrites who call themselves teacher and father .

Your misrepresentation of priests is disgusting. I can't believe that you are that naive to fall into the media trap that suggests that all Priests are child abusers. The scandal of course is that ANYONE would abuse a child let alone clergy, and that ANY institution would mishandle such an abomination the way that the Roman Catholic Church has mishandled it. The actual number of priests who are child abusers is not known, but most studies and estimates put the number approximately 3-5% (according a survey of studies). Even if the number were larger, that doesn't give you the ticket to systemically bash priests. Maybe you would like to read the Gospels about judging others (who should that be left up to?) and forgiveness and love, and report here what you've read.

Bob, I've seen you post on being Christian many times. You are not shy about sharing Jesus and your love for Him. However, what's been absent in your posts is Christ's love in you and any coherent knowledge of the Gospels. What you repeatedly write is anger, venom...and quite frankly something that's more reflective of the Enemy than of God. You talk about reaching out to others about joining your church like you were introducing them to Amway rather than teaching others about the Divine Message that God loves us and delights in us. You are so busy condemning others that it seems that you have forgotten that Jesus IS LOVE. Period.

Missional Church ... simple

Being the Missional Church

This is probably one of the best lessons on "what is missional" that I've seen. You will find it to be a gift. It's worth the hour view.

Pat Robertson Has Lost His Mind

Yesterday Pat Robertson stated that the earthquake in Haiti was the result of Haiti making a pact with the devil during their revolution. It became clear long ago that Robertson does not speak for Christians, yet the media often presents him as a leader in the Church. Pat Robertson has become a source of ridicule for non-believers, and justifiably so. I believe that he is flirting with peril every time he makes such statements -- especially when he speaks in the name of Jesus Christ. I will pray for him and for those who give Pat Robertson the vehicle to be heard in such a big way.

It's time...

I came to Charlotte, NC to build ministry -- I am called to bring flesh to the Word. However, it seems that I've spent most of my time contributing to empire building. I'm not sure how I got here -- yeah, yeah...I know...I got here by U-Haul truck. But how did I get so focused on earning a dollar? I give myself some credit though: my focus has not been making a dollar for wealth but rather making a dollar for survival. But I'd be lying through omission if I didn't confess that I have considered taking steps to advance in the retail business so that I could earn big dollars. But I remain sober knowing that Jesus has other plans for me.

I've spent the last six weeks working 70-85 hours a week managing an electronics retailer and wondering why it has been so easy? I'm not talking about the lazy kind of easy where one sits back with little effort and watches things fall into place. It's been quite the opposite; this job has been hard work and very consuming on so many levels. When I say "easy" I'm talking about this-isn't-rocket-science kind of easy. Before taking on this job, I never thought of myself as a salesman. I thought that I could never be the slick salesman that we often meet at the mall or the used car lot trying to sell us something that we don't want. And I was right. That's not me. "Slick" is not a word one would use to describe me. However, I AM skilled at listening and empathizing. And I'm pretty good at assisting folks in being able to figure out what they want and/or need and to help them get those things. These skills work perfectly in retail. And I find it quite disturbing that I can use these skills in this way because I acquired them to help others in need, not as a means to earn money or empire building. So I am having a crisis of conscience.

It's time for a change. It's time to test my faith.

MY EPIC TAKES OVER VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL

We've made friends with the band My Epic the past few months. They volunteered to take over Christ the King Chapel's summer program...and this is the end result. No doubt that Jesus was there!

Moving-On, Going Forth

So my bags were packed and I was ready to go, at least as much as I was going to be ready. My friends and family helped to pack-up the truck -- Thank you! My brother Paul, and friend Theresa are packing scientists who seemed to know exactly how to fit things together to optimize the full volume of the truck while being gentle with my things and keeping my possessions safe from too much movement or damage.

My last days living on Long Island seemed surreal. After the truck was packed, I spent a couple of days with my BFF Ginger (I'm such a geek -- "Best Friend Forever") while I attended my last Mass with Prince of Peace on Sunday, and my last day of work on Monday. My friends from Prince of Peace were unbelievably gracious and loving to me. They offered a "Going Forth Mass" which included Celtic prayer and blessings. I truly felt super-charged, blessed and so loved.

The car trip (truck trip?) took 17-hours of driving; it was 11-hours the last time I drove from Long Island to Charlotte. However this time I kept it slow and easy, and also stopped along the way for meals and naps. To say the least, I was exhausted.

It was heart breaking when I left Long Island at approximately 4:30 in the morning. My best friend Ginger saw me off. I love her so much. We both were crying -- it was hard to imagine being apart. But through the tears we both knew that this was all part of God's plan. We also knew and continue to know that we will never be apart as our love stretches beyond geography. With phones, emails and travel, we will stay close. Thank you God for Ginger.

As you could tell from this post and the previous post -- I am publishing them in February...but were written while I was going through this transition. Not having much time -- I never got to post them, but thought I would now to share my experience with you.

Discernment

Clearly I've been absent from my blog for quite a few weeks. It's been somewhat of a...well...I don't know how to describe this period of time. I thought I had well-laid plans and a strong sense of what my future was going to look like. And sure enough, God threw a monkey wrench into the works. I hate when God changes things just when I think I have everything worked-out.

For quite sometime I imagined that I would begin my ministry as a priest by building a Catholic Community on Long Island, New York. In addition, I thought that I would continue working for Catholic Charities -- providing services and housing for homeless folks who live with a disability. I figured that after I gained community-building experience and the community was well-established, I would consider immigrating south to Virginia Beach, VA or Charlotte, NC where there are existing United American Catholic Church ministries that could use my help. However, as the saying goes: "While I make plans, God laughs."

The anxiety started when my landlord & friend informed me that her family situation was changing and she would need the space where I live -- therefore I must move out by December. At first glance, it would seem that this change is not much of a crisis. While I am disappointed that I needed to move (I lived in a beautiful apartment on a canal with a terrific house mate), I had faith that I would find another apartment and would be fine. However, I immediately had this nagging feeling that there's an opportunity to further my ministry away from New York. It does not seem to matter that I have a wonderful job on Long Island and am currently serving as Deacon in a growing faith community -- I continued to hear the Voice of God in prayer telling me that I'm needed else where. That is where the crisis lay.

God's call is never easy, or at least it's never been for me. I heard God's gentle prodding to go into ministry for years before I took the first step on the journey toward the priesthood. And now once again, it is very hard to follow God's call for me to relocate. I love Long Island. I grew up there and left it only for a short time to attend school. I know the communities, the culture and have wonderful relationships with folks who live there. I have a strong professional network in the community-service and social work arenas. I love Long Island Sound and the Great South Bay, the wineries on the North Fork, the terrific community theatres and museums, and the fact that New York City is a short drive or train ride away. Although one can argue about some of the drawbacks to living in an area with one of this country's highest cost of living -- it was home for me and I was quite comfortable.

Yes, God's will is hard. It became apparent that I would be leaving Long Island soon when my dear friend Ginger, who knew I was discerning a big change, sang a Psalm to me over the phone and all I could do was cry -- tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of uncertainty. The decision was made. Charlotte, North Carolina would soon be my new home. It was there that I was being called to assist with a growing community of Peruvians.

As is always the case -- stay tuned, there is more to come.